In a surprising move for some, the United States Senate has voted to finally end tax havens created by religious institutions. The decision handed down Friday will effectively make all money exchanged within churches nationwide subject to taxation.

The move has had mixed reviews.

“I don’t mind paying into the system as long as I know the taxes on my tithe will go toward the humanities” says 27 year old Matthew Thornbrook of New Haven Baptist Church in Lake Johnson, Wisconsin.

Thornbrook was immediately excommunicated.

Pastor Dwight Yoder of New Haven Baptist had this to say:

“We don’t need to communist agendas getting into our pocketbooks here at the church. The lord does NOT agree with taxation and neither do we. This is an attack on our beliefs. How am I going to be able to buy my wife the newest Eddie Bauer Land Cruiser if the government is taking a portion of OUR money? That money is for the Lord!”

ALSO, if you shared this without reading it, you’re a fucking idiot.

Leave a Reply